revengeristsfandomcom-20200215-history
Bob Coffee
"I mean I guess I can do that, NO you do that, I'm sick of this! ...oh alright, here's your latte." - Bob Coffee Once a mere man, then he passed the test to become one of the, uh, revered(?) interns, and then rose up the ranks to become KING of the Interns. He's Bob Coffee and he still does things for the rest of the Revengerists. He can't be vinced by anyone but himself, so I guess that makes him an Awesome. History We already covered this, but OK, we'll go over it again. Once a mere man, then he passed the test to become one of the "revered" interns, and then rose up the ranks to become KING of the Interns. War of the Interns He had enough of the Revengerists' shit and decided to declare war on them, with the interns. Their feeble attempts resulted in the deaths of many not valuable interns and the instatement of Bob Coffee as King of the Interns. Seriously, it lasted maybe an hour, tops. Powers and Abillities He has a vast knowledge of all dumb things pop culture. He spends lots of time on internet forums. Bob Coffee is completely invulnerable, except via self-harm (whether neglect, incompetence, or intentonal). He can be shot, flame-throwered, power-blasted, dimensionally crushed, and run over without so much as a scratch -- but if he falls off some stairs and pisses himself, he's in for a world of hurt (seriously, when asked what his powers are, he said the ability to pee on himself). Doesn't matter if he stabs himself in the eye, which he should, or sips some hot tea too fast, he's going to feel it. This is because he is not invulnerable, but actually invincible . People confuse those terms, but what this means is that Bob Coffee is physically, mentally, spiritually and metaphysically incapable of being defeated (by anyone but himself). It remains to be seen if he can be emotionally defeated, but the good folks at Revengerist Labs are currently working on it. He is definitely not immortal and will die someday. If that doesn't keep him up at night, it probably should. He recently underwent surgery to give himself cyborg arms... that is to say, he had to cut off both of his own arms (which is hard to do, try it sometime), and then the folks at the Lab repaired him with cyborg arms... which was what he wanted all along. Although if he tried to do the complicated cybernetic surgery himself with no training, it is not known whether or not he would succeed. This is the only sense of super-strength he has, except what he calls "Nerd rage", which is nothing. His greatest feat of strength was punching out the President to save a babby. Due to his abilities, he has only gotten hurt on Revengerists team missions by tripping and falling or walking into active laser grids and traps. He has beaten the other team members at every sport, board or video game thrown his way (much to their chagrin and constant denial). But he is not automatically or innately skilled -- as evidenced by his inability to win any game of Solitaire ever, which itself seems statistically impossible. There are plenty of things he does not know how to do, but his powers are more generated by luck than anything else, if you even believe in that sort of thing. His greatet weakness, like many of the Revengerists, is ''procrastination. ''According to Dr Tasty, Bob Coffee's greatest weakness is wasting valuable breathing time. Category:Awesomes Category:Interns Category:Good Guys Category:Stupids Category:Revengerists Category:False Bob